Finding treasures

Looking through old photographs for a friends memorial service is a solemn task but it can also be punctuated by great moments of discovery. I was digging through an old hard drive from 2004 the other day searching for any old photographs of Panda from camp that I would be able to share with her family.

I found some random photographs of her with her cabin mates waiting to go on the cruise and posing after a classic skit. Suddenly the memory of the "Fear Factor" skit came rushing back to me. Panda is pictured second from the far right (below) and she had just shoved her head into a bowl of chocolate pudding that was supposed to be some other gross thing. Thankfully I can't remember what exactly, only that the kids in the audience were howling with laughter.

That's Panda, second from the right in orange with pudding all over her face.

As I continued to look for pictures a thought came to me. I wondered if there was a chance that out of the 120 kids at camp that week if perhaps she was one of the dozen or so that signed up for a "Free Choice" photography activity that I led on the last day of camp. I found the folder and there it was...jackpot. I had completely forgotten that young pre-Panda Kathryn had been one of my portrait subjects.

I was thrilled to find these. Panda was 13 and already doing camp at full speed, making friends right and left, cracking people up and completely getting into the spirit of camp whenever and however she could. My last great find the other day was this shot of Panda and Piglet at the carnival. The colors of her hair and make-up were a fitting match for her vibrant personality.

Who knew at that time what a big part of camp she would become and how many peoples' lives she would end of touching, at camp and everywhere she went.


These photos are a treasure, and so was she.

Panda

Kathryn “Panda” Bradley passed away yesterday just three days shy of her 21^st birthday. Her cancer journey started in 1999. She did not “lose the fight”, or “lose the struggle” with cancer. Rather, she won the battle of living life to the fullest. She had the secret of life down at the beginning. Cancer slowed her but never overshadowed her incredible ability to shine on, celebrate and enjoy life, and just attract friends, love and affection like a giant magnet. She created joy, happiness and laughter everywhere she went. And I’m not just saying that. I have photographic evidence. I did manage to get her to pose for a picture every now and again but usually she just exploded into laughter or silliness, and how wonderful that was to witness.

 

She was one of the most petite people that I have ever known and when she told me how much she loved my “short jokes” the game was on. “Oh, hey we can’t start yet because Panda’s not here.” “Anyone seen Panda?” “PANDA, hurry up and get over here!” The entire time of course Panda would be standing two inches away from me and she would instantly erupt into laughter. Or… “Hey kids you can’t go to dinner yet, your counselor’s not here…oops, didn’t see you there Panda!”

 Every smile or hug from her was a gift of the most genuine kind. The smile was from ear to ear, punctuated with a laugh that was all her own. When I hugged her she fit just perfectly under my arm. She was much shorter than my 11 year old daughter but was one of the biggest people that I will ever know. Losing her is such a profound loss for her Camp Goodtimes family because she was such an enormous part of the fabric of what makes camp so special. She just sparkled and possessed a distinctive flair that was completely wrapped around and inextractible from her deep understanding  for what Camp Goodtimes was. Nervous about going to camp when she was "little"? Not Kathryn. I remember one year when she was absolutely the last kid to arrive at camp. I think it was actually a day late. She said she didn't care at all what cabin she was in, she was just thrilled to be there.

Bumper and a little Panda in 2003

2008

2009

Panda was truly beautiful and as well as beautifully true. She was beautiful in the purest sense because just looking at her made you happy. She was also true, genuine and real without a shed of pretense. How could you be pretentious while dancing around in a blue dinosaur costume? That’s just impossible.

Panda’s family stood by her side from the very beginning. They showered her with love and surrounded her with hope and possibility. Panda’s brother Richard, or as his camp friends know him, Loop, wins as I told his mother yesterday “Brother of the Year” award in my book. He dropped absolutely everything in his life over these last months and never left Kathryn’s side. Recently he would sit at her bedside and read Harry Potter out loud, for hours on end. The love that these siblings had for each other was so obvious. Seeing them interact at camp was wonderful to behold and offered a small glimpse into their special and unique relationship.

Camp Goodtimes was Panda’s home away from home and the kids and staff were her extended family. Camp gave Panda the vehicle to express herself as only she could and to be universally loved. Camp does that.

My dear friend Karen Gerstenberger describes this special aspect of Camp Goodtimes beautifully and with deep personal understanding. Karen’s daughter Katie attended camp in the summer of 2007 and passed away just a few months later. The following is an excerpt from her message of sympathy to Panda’s camp family yesterday;

“The impact of Camp Goodtimes goes beyond what I understood when our children attended in the summer of 2007. It is much more than a week of fun and craziness which helps children who have cancer (and their siblings) realize what cancer cannot take from them...it goes far beyond that. Camp creates an extended family of people who really and truly care about each camper and staff member, forever. Not just for fun, but in sickness and in health, in remission and in relapse, until death and afterward. I know this, because I have felt this love and caring directed toward our family when Katie died, and I have seen it come alongside other children and their families when they are dying. It's not just about the Goodtimes - though there are plenty of those. It's about caring for people who touch your life briefly, yet touch your heart for all time.”

Panda did just that. She touched hearts wherever she went and at camp the effect was exponential. To know her was a gift. When she was little she was actually given the Hawaiian name “Kahiwalani”, meaning “Gift from Heaven”, proof that good things come in small packages.

I wrote to Panda’s mother Carol yesterday and struggled to find the right words to express my gratitude for the pleasure of knowing her children, and finally arrived at these;

 
 “Thank you Carol for your three beautiful gifts to this world, Kathryn, Richard, and your recipe for life, ‘Love, Laugh & Live’. Of course dear Panda would want us to turn life up as loud as we can get it. I know for an absolute fact that her Camp Goodtimes family will. Panda is alive and well in the hearts of all of those lucky enough to stumble into her path in life and who are so much the better for it. The amount of love, laughter and living that Panda created and experienced in life is astounding. It's as if she was on a mission to live a 100 years in only 21. She clearly exceeded her goal. Kathryn will be missed dearly, remembered forever, and always will be celebrated with a smile.”

Healing begins

Thank you all for caring so much and also for your comments on my tribute to sweet Anthony. The Strauss family needs all the love and support in the world right now, and will continue to as time marches slowly onward. There will always be now two missing places at their dinner table and the reality of that is just heartbreaking. The slow march towards healing though did begin I think yesterday at the funeral, which was an honest, genuine, and thoughtful celebration of Anthony's life. And it was also a very very painful and tearful goodbye. The outpouring of emotion was drenching and much needed. When Anthony's father Doug delivered his touching eulogy, he spoke very passionately and faithfully about his son, a boy in perpetual motion who only had one simple direction in life, full speed ahead, and who created joy, and chaos, wherever he went. Doug singled out each of Anthony's siblings in turn and talked about their individual relationships with their dearly departed brother. The common thread between them all was love, the unshakeable love that bound, and will continue to bind these kids together forever. Knowing how much love fills the Strauss house from within and seeing how much continues to flow in from the outside is a reason for hope and a recipe for eventual healing.

I hope that the immense hurt that so many people are feeling right now, whether they know the Strausses or not, will transform into a renewed compassion for others that when shared, in whatever form, will help make the world a better place. Whether it renews your faith, renews your passion for life, or renews your urge to go squeeze your kids and hang on to them so long that they start looking at you funny, that renewal is a gift that we can receive respectfully and reverently from little Anthony Strauss.

Like his sister Gloria before him, Anthony will have a permanent place in my heart. I will honor them the best way that I know how and that is to keep their memory close and kick life up a few notches. Life is a gift, plain and simple. As I have mentioned before, the great philosopher, Ferris Bueller, once said, "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." So crank it up, and 'Amp' it up. Do it for Anthony, for Gloria, for loved ones past and present, and for yourself. Any ordinary day can become an extraordinary day if you just decide to make it that way.

We are all on this amazing, precious journey together and along with being united through the great joys of our lives we also can be united in sorrow, and that is the only way to get through it, together.

Honoring Anthony Strauss

Tomorrow I'll be attending the funeral of an amazing young man. He was compassionate, creative, and rambunctious, had an electric personality and a megaphone for a voice. He had so much still to give to his family and to the world. His potential was unlimited. Dear Anthony was just 10 years old.

Anthony was not lost to cancer like his older sister Gloria was in 2007, but rather as a result of a freak accident in his home. Five years ago, Gloria's six siblings all had the chance to say their goodbyes to her in the hospital, but not Anthony. Last week he was there at home one second, in ICU the next, and now his family will be laying him to rest tomorrow. Their grief is overwhelming and how can anyone come up with words that can comfort such a tragic, sudden loss, or even comprehend it? I certainly can't.

I love the Strauss family and I loved Anthony. His nickname was "Amps" because he was so darn, wonderfully LOUD. He completely cracked me up. You never knew if he'd show up in army fatigues with a mohawk, or wearing a suit and tie. This young man had style.

Energy? You bet, and Amps was only on his way to breakfast.

My son Miles took these photographs of Anthony's unforgettable entrance to the final camp dance last July.

My daughter Alex is 11 and called Anthony, "my little dancing buddy", from the numerous Camp Goodtimes events that they saw each other at. During the whipped cream fight at the carnival last summer, Alex had the job of filling up kids hands with whipped cream from the sidelines so they could get back in the foray. Alex kept a steady supply going to Anthony and he exclaimed to her, "YOU ARE AWESOME!!" A little later in the fight I went over into the "low impact" zone where kids with  physical limitations could still participate and a young blind camper needed a target. I corralled Anthony and said, "C'mon Amps, take one for the team!" He gladly got down on one knee and offered up his head so that little Julia could experience the joy of obliterating a fellow camper with whipped cream. A lot of kids would have run away, but not Anthony. He understood FUN more than most and I don't think Julia will ever forget that moment.

I won't be able to comprehend that Anthony is really gone until I see the Strauss family all together and notice that gaping hole between Joe and Sam. There is nothing in this world that will ever fill that void.

As it was five years ago with Gloria, and now with Anthony, healing can only be found with honor, remembrance and love.

Please keep Anthony and the rest of Strauss family in your thoughts and prayers...again.

Gloria in 2007

Anthony last summer

 

For those interested in supporting the Strauss during this time of such tremendous loss, you can visit www.gloriasangels.org

The bluest skies you've ever seen are in Seattle!

In honor of this gorgeous day I thought I'd share this colorful shot from one of the jumbo mark II class ferries in Elliot Bay. I hope the November rains hold off just a tad bit longer!

Captain Campbell turned 100!

Lynn aboard the newly launched Shearwater in 1950

Captain Lynn Campbell, the founder of Seattle Harbor Tours (now Argosy Cruises) turned 100 years old on October 9^th celebrating with family and friends at his waterfront home on Bainbridge Island. Lynn greatly enjoyed the proceedings as he was seated comfortably in a chair in his living room surrounded by not only his beloved family, which included many great grandchildren, but also friends from all over whose lives he had touched throughout the decades. Everyone had gathered to help celebrate his life WITH him and that is a remarkable moment in itself. At his 95^thbirthday, many in attendance probably thought that the next time that they would be seeing each other would be at his memorial service. Instead there he was managing smile after smile, handshake after handshake and whenever possible, giving kisses to all the "pretty girls". He may not have been as clear on everyone’s names as he would have liked but he knew he was in the presence of people who loved him. 

There was one moment in particular that I've been thinking about ever since. As he sat in his chair next to the living room doors that were open out onto the veranda his guests, on cue, suddenly parted, clearing a path for his line of sight to reveal the 115 foot Spirit of Seattle (that Lynn built in 1987). The Spirit had made the trip out from Seattle just to honor him. Because of a very high tide and excellent boat handling from the captain the Spirit was able to approach very close to shore. Lynn then noticed longtime captains Don, Kenny, Ralph and Mike along with other old friends from Seattle Harbor Tours days holding a special  happy birthday banner which included photographs of him on it and signatures of many well-wishers. People sang "Happy Birthday" with a true sense of awe in their voices after which the Spirit sounded its horn numerous times. Lynn's eyes welled up with tears as he clasped his hands together.

He then raised a toast of champagne to salute the Spirit of Seattle and to everyone else. He didn't say a word but we all heard him loud and clear. The eyes of the Old Salt said it all. 

Thanking and toasting wonderful family and friends

His eyes spoke a thousand words that day

A few months ago I visited and took him a slideshow of the glory days of Seattle Harbor Tours in the 1980's and 90's. Afterwords Lynn grabbed my hand and said, "If I live to be 100 I'll never forget those days." I responded, "Well you're gonna be 100 in a couple of months so I sure hope you remember them until then". When I was saying goodbye to him on his 100th birthday it was my turn to grab his hand and I said, "Do you remember those fun days at Seattle Harbor Tours cruising all over Puget Sound?" He replied, "Nope." I said, "Really?" Knowing that he was kidding. He looked at me with a sly little smile and said, "I do remember this one guy who would jump off the boats all the time." (referring to me) He then smiled broadly. I said, "I knew you were a man of your word. You said a while back that if you lived to be 100 you'd never forget those days, and now here you are 100 years old today and you DO still remember. You are amazing." He then squeezed my hand tight, pulling me closer, and said softly but with more conviction that I have ever heard in his voice, "If I live to be 10,000 I'll never forget those days." I said, "Well you got the first 100 out of the way so you've only got 9,900 to go." He said very frankly, "Well I probably have a few more months at least." I then told him that I was so thankful for the experience of knowing him and that he had made a huge impact on my life and on so many other people.

I told him that he was deeply loved. And on this day especially, that fact was obvious.

Lynn with guests and famous barker and personality Rudy Becker

Lynn narrated more harbor tours than anyone in history

(passing Todd Shipyards back in the day...) "There's nothing more disorganized looking than a shipyard, but everything has it's place and it's purpose."

Giving Governor Ronald Reagan a turn at the wheel in 1974

Lynn and Alyce in 1987 with freshly welded together Spirit of Seattle in the background

Camp Sealth trip 1989

Lynn last year on his 99th birthday

Holding his daughter Charlotte's hand on his 100th birthday

Charlotte with her daddy

A kiss from granddaughter Chieko

When I first met these two, Lynn was 64 and Chieko was 6

Great granddaughter Whitney was also there (guess who her mom is?) :)

Lynn with long time Seattle Harbor Tours co-worker, office mate and all around amazing person Susie Starrfield

John Blackman stopped by to say hi.

Miles enjoyed his brief visit with Lynn

One of Lynn's longtime caregivers even jumped out of a cake and sand "Happy Birthday" with a Marilyn Monroe-esque tone

Lynn listening to grandson Hanz sing along with fellow performer Kathryn

Hanz is amazing (www.hanzaraki.com)

A kiss from his grandson

Hands of the Old Salt

Lynn's hands were once strong enough to bring me to my knees during a handshake. His voice once powerful enough to command attention in any room or boat. His laugh once loud enough to envelope anyone within ear shot. And still to this day his heart is big enough to reflect upon, remember, appreciate and love the multitude of people and experiences that have woven themselves into this incredible life of his. He is comforted by the wonderful memories of a life well lived and the affection of family and friends whose lives he has become a special part of. He is fully aware that he soon will be sailing off into the sunset and all he has asked for is to be remembered in the prayers of those have come to know and love him..

Happy Birthday you "Old Knucklehead" and thank you from the bottom of my heart for everything. Forgetting you will be impossible. Remembering you will be easy and will bring great joy to me for the rest of my life. Why, if I live to be 100 years old, I'll never forget all the good times!